I could Never do that!

Has that thought ever crossed your mind? Whether it's bungee jumping, running a convention, volunteering at a charity event or public speaking, you so totally could do that. Why would you tell yourself that you can't?

Anytime that you hear the monkey chatter in your head telling you all the reasons why you shouldn't – wouldn't – couldn't do that, tell it to shut up.

And then - Be Aware – that you're nervous or even downright scared. You know what? Feeling that way is OK. Any time that you try something new and out of your comfort zone that is entirely natural. The first time you drove a car, entered a new workplace, tried a new recipe or just about anything that you did for the first time you felt nervous and maybe a bit out of control. Now you jump in the car and go to work and don't think twice about it. And if you continue to do this new event you'll get accustomed to the actions and the nervousness will disappear as you get more proficient.

If the monkey chatter is still echoing around in the back of your head try a couple of exercises. Write down everything that could go wrong if you try the new action. And take it to the outer limits. For example public speaking -

I could start coughing each time I tried to speak.

The stage could collapse and all you'd see of me would be my feet just like in a cartoon.

I'd lean on the podium and it would fall over, right onto the front row of desks.

The New Madrid fault would give way and we'd have an earthquake while I was speaking.

The audience would be so rapt by what I was saying they wouldn't let me stop.

After you've gathered your list, take a look at them and realize that the majority of horrible events that we imagine never happen. And by majority I mean 99.9% of them, although I would like an audience that was so rapt by what I was saying that they'd want me to continue. All the monkey chatter is there to stop you from moving out of your comfort zone by trying to frighten you. Fear is a negative motivator, it can be used effectively but the recipient usually resents that fear was used to control them. Ever tell yourself after it was too late, 'I should have done that.' and be disgusted with yourself because you let the monkey chatter stop you? And remember what fear really is -

F alse

E vidence

A ppearing

R eal

As you overcome your fear of new events and move forward, the monkey chatter volume gets turned down more and more until you can't hear it at all. The more self-confidence you have in yourself and your abilities the more the monkey chatter volume gets turned down. And as you do more new actions you gain more self-confidence, this is the kind of motivation you want to use on yourself.

Another list you might try is what's the best that could happen if I try this? Again using the public speaking example.

I could educate and help people in an area I enjoy.

A talent scout will take my class and hire me to be a voice-over person for TV and movies because of my dulcet tones.

I'll collect enough talks that I'll be able to write a book and go on a national speaking tour to even larger audiences.

Oh and both of the last two translate into rich and famous, yippee!

You will need to remind yourself of what the benefits of the new action are to you. All too often the monkey chatter just gives the worst scenario premises. Keep telling yourself how this will help you in the long run and the good experience that it will be for you. Tell yourself that as often as the monkey chatter tries to tell you to stop.

Taking some action each day no matter what the monkey chatter says will tell it to shut up much more effectively than talking to yourself. And always remember, just because the monkey chatter is there doesn't mean you have to listen to it.